By Sr. Doreen, SSJD
Summer ends, and it is time to face another way (Wendell Berry)
“Delicious autumn! My soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking successive autumns.” (George Elliot)
As each year the seasons move into each other, one season ending and the other beginning, it reminds us that there is also a personal experience of the seasons, an interior experience also. The outer movement of the seasons of the year, are often mirrored in our own inner lives: teaching us something more about who we are and about the circle of life. They can, but do not always, remain in synch with the cycle of the seasonal changes of spring, summer, fall, and winter. They cycle through our own ups and downs, experiences and different circumstances.
As I come to Autumn, I began to think about how this season seems to offer a teaching about being willing to be at rest after the spring and summer months of such a busy growing and producing time, such abundant growth. It made me ask myself some questions about my own life – especially when I find myself tired and worn out in those busy times of my life. I wondered why I don’t pay much attention to my own need to refuel and rest? How come I don’t find myself very generous and gentle with myself when I feel empty and non-productive? What should I try to do to slow down, to regain an inner quiet, and relax? These were some of the questions that pondering the season of autumn highlighted in my mind and soul. I know how important it is to stop and stare and rest and refresh – I know how important it is to build into life sacred pauses … why is it so hard to give in, to surrender when I have reached the almost exhausted end of the busy seasons of my life? Autumn may call us to rest, but often we have little control over the pace of our life. We shortchange a real autumn experience in our inner life by our cultural pattern of getting things started again after the summer! Meetings, and more meetings, projects and more projects, events starting up and planning for events to come becomes the norm. Perhaps it becomes a time to really pay more attention to being intentional about what Macrina Wiederkehr calls the ‘seven sacred pauses’ … however we chose to make a real personal and inner autumn for our life, building in pauses and finding our own ‘thin’ and ‘happy’ place becomes so very important.
Macrina Wiederkehr and Joyce Rupp wrote a book together called “The Circle of Life”. As we come now to the beginning of Autumn, I have been pondering one of their poem litanies, finding much in it to be helpful and so share it with you. It is called “Prayer of Acceptance” and they use the quote by Wendell Berry ‘Summer ends, and it is time to face another way’ to begin their reflection.
“Eternal One who circles the seasons with ease, teach me about Earth’s natural cycle of turning from one season to another. Remind me often of how she opens herself to the dying and rising rotations, the coming and the going of each of the four seasons. Open me today to the teachings of the season of autumn.
When I accept only the beautiful and reject the tattered, torn parts of who I am, when I treat things that are falling apart as my enemies,
Walk me among the dying leaves, let them tell me about their power to energize Earth’s soil by their decomposition and their formation of enriching humus.
When I fear the loss of my youthfulness and refuse to accept the reality of aging,
Turn my face to the brilliant colours of autumn trees, open my spirit to the mellow resonance of autumn sunsets and the beauty of the changing land.
When I refuse to wait with the mystery of the unknown, when I struggle to keep control rather than let life evolve,
Wrap me in the darkening days of autumn and encourage me to wait patiently for clarity and vision as I live with uncertainty and insecurity.
When I grow tired of using my own harvest of gifts to benefit others,
Take me to the autumn fields where Earth shares the bounty of summer and allows her lands to surrender their abundance.
When I resist efforts to warm a relationship that has been damaged by my coldness,
Let me feel the first hard freeze of autumn’s breath and see the death it brings to greening, growing things.
When I neglect to care for myself and become totally absorbed in life’s hurried pace,
Give me courage to slow down as I see how Earth slows down and allows her soil to rest in silent, fallow space.
When I fight the changes of unwanted, unsought events and struggle to keep things just as they are instead of letting go,
Place me on the wings of traveling birds flying south, willing to leave their nests of comfort as they journey to another destination.
When I fail to say ‘thank you’ and see only what is not, instead of what is,
Lead me to gather all the big and little aspects of my life that have blessed me with comfort, hope, love, inner healing, strength, and courage.
Maker of the Seasons, thank you for all that autumn teaches me. Change my focus so that I see not only what I am leaving behind, but also the harvest and the plenitude that my life holds. May my heart grow freer and my life more peaceful as I resonate with, and respond to, the many teachings this season offers to me.”