By Rev. Stephen Kern
Many clergy I know are well trained to be a “non-anxious presence” in the midst of counselling sessions, warden’s meetings, leading worship and prayer. It is my experience that being a “non-anxious presence” is posture many in the sisterhood hold for others too. But for many of us, despite the calm exterior, inside the anxiety churns away….one pastor told me to others it appeared on the outside they were swimming through life like a duck seeming to just glide from one side of the pond to the other, but underneath, they were paddling like mad! We hide it well.
I don’t know how things are behind closed doors in the sisterhood and in your chapter meetings this week, but in general, we are very reticent to share our emotions in our culture, and in our beloved Anglican Church. Trans stand up comedian and social activist Eddie Izzard said Anglicans are the only ones who can sing “alleluia” at the top of their voices and not look like they mean it! What strikes me about the texts today and in the records of the life of our St. Monica is the passion and the emotion expressed and directed heavenward in prayer.
You know the story of St. Monica’s love for her son, the remarkable thinker St. Augustine. In his younger years he was both enamored of fornication and heresy. His mother, a devout Catholic did all she could do to encourage the young man to mend his ways and return to the orthodox faith. She persistently implored the local Bishop to convince Augustine of the error of his ways. The Bishop in frustration groaned to her, “Woman, go away from me now!…it is impossible that a son of such tears should perish!” She who gave physical birth to her beloved son wept and groaned in prayer that he would be spiritually reborn in the waters of baptism.
Hannah too felt her desires very deeply and expressed them in moving prayer. Eli the priest misjudged her thinking she was drunk and rebuked her, but she was passionately opening her heart to the Lord in her desire that her womb too be opened and she be granted the gift of a male child. Stung by his own judgmentalism and moved by Hannah’s heart-felt prayer Eli blessed her…. “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” In due time she was given a son, Samuel the great prophet of God- fruit of God’s grace and fervent prayer.
Our Lord Jesus prophesied that his followers would experience grief and deeply mourn as part of their discipleship. He likened the kingdom he was inaugurating through the Passion, the blood of the cross, to giving birth. There would be pain and anguish in the birthing of redemption, heart-break and sorrow, but the promise too that their grief would turn to joy at the visitation of the resurrected Lord! It is a promise in line with Psalm 30:5: Weeping may stay the night, but joy comes in the morning!”
Now we are not saying that all stories end happily ever after in this life. We are not saying that more passionate prayer will bring about the outcome we for which we implore God. What I am saying is that by the examples of the Saints of Scripture and history, we are invited to search our hearts to seek the things we really, really, deeply desire. What are we really passionate about as a community? What are we really passionate about as church? What are we really passionate about as a human being who follows the Risen Saviour? Why should we hesitate to name our deepest desires before the Lord? Our passionate prayer is a witness that confirms within us our deep desires and our faith. Our passionate prayer witnesses to the Lord our sincerity and to others as well.
To further strengthen us, we are promised joy breaks through the travail. We are promised that joy comes through the grief and lament. We are promised that none shall ever take away our joy as we find our joy in the Creator. In the power of this promise, in the Presence of the Holy Spirit, in prayerfulness of heart let us cast our fears and anxieties at the foot of the Lord’s throne. Let us not trust in the power of our prayers, but in the power of the One who answers prayer. Let us be passionate in prayer, without trusting in passion’s fervour: let us trust in the One who invites us to pray in accordance with His Name, and with the promise we will be heard. In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.