By Sr. Doreen, SSJD
He sent forth his dove into the world, which dropped the tiniest feather from its wing. The king raised the feather, blew on it, and commanded it to fly. The feather flew, not because of anything in itself, but because the air bore it along. Thus am I: but a feather on the breath of God.”
( Hildegard of Bingen OSB)
She was a German Benedictine abbess and sage, active as a writer, composer, painter, prophet, politician, philosopher, mystic, visionary, counsellor, and as a medical writer, healer, and practitioner during the High Middle Ages. She was all of these and more – one of the most fascinating people in the history of Christianity! She was a Benedictine Nun who loved the earth, and everything around her. I believe that in these gifts she continues to bring inspiration, joy and help to people today, and every day.
Today her contribution to our understanding of wholeness, both human and cosmic, remains pivotal to our understanding of her spirituality, a spirituality that is based in acknowledging the health and beauty of the human mind and body, of the universe and order – and as such, are crucial in understanding that they are a real and profound reflection of the perfection of God. In many ways her teachings and sayings challenge us to wake up and to take responsibility for our choices. She was indeed a prophet in this challenge – someone who taught and rejoiced in the fact that God wants us to have joy in our souls and health in our bodies. She wanted us to cherish within ourselves the birth of God, believing that with this understanding, all the goodness and comfort, all rapture, reality, and truth would be ours. It would give us an incredible ability to listen, to cooperate, and to move into a ‘oneness’, and ‘isness’ with ourselves, others, and all that is around us in the world. This understanding of hers was born and proclaimed, a call to order and harmony, in the midst of her broken, corrupt and chaotic world, a world not unlike our own today.
Why was I attracted to Hildegard of Bingen? It was as though she drew me to herself as a spiritual mother; she spoke to me of living in harmony with God, with creation, and with myself. I saw in Hildegard someone who could, by their humanness and their holiness, help me to grow in self-knowledge, in discernment of God’s will, and in maturity in the Spirit. In a real sense, she gave birth to that mystic movement, a movement of creation-centred spirituality – the essential goodness of humankind, creation, and all that is.
In her many writings and songs, it was when she spoke so often about being a feather on the breath of God that really grab my soul. I share one such quote, a little different than the one introducing this reflection, probably translated by several people over the ages: ”Listen; there was once a king sitting on his throne. Around him stood great and wonderfully beautiful columns ornamented with ivory, bearing the banners of the king with great honour. Then it pleased the king to raise a small feather from the ground and he commanded it to fly. The feather flew, not because of anything in itself, but because the air bore it along. Thus am I ‘a feather on the breath of God’”
Oh to be a feather on the breath of God! Such was her desire, and such is my desire – and what deep pondering we can mine from this!
Letting go is one of the most challenging quests and one of the most difficult realities that we face in life. Letting go of control, adjusting to new realities of aging and illness, changing circumstances and life altering experiences – all of which are the effects of profound loss. For most of us staying in control is the ultimate achievement, however experiences in life also teach us that loss of control can be an empowering spiritual step. Joan Chittister wrote in her book “For Everything a Season”: “We come to know ourselves in the contests we could not win and the summits we could not scale and the goals we could not reach and in the loss of loves we could not live without … self-knowledge is what happens when we find out that what we cannot do is not the only thing we can do … what is true is that we ourselves are more than however much we strive to achieve (or hang on to).”
Hildegard’s wisdom – I am a feather resting on the loving breath of God and letting it all depend on God – … speaks to us of several gifts that loss of control offers us. It teaches us to depend on each other, of how important needing each other is in life, of learning to receive as well as to give. We are all so very wrapped up in the idea that we can do it ourselves, that we don’t need help, that we have the situation under control, and we all know from experience that this is an illusion! The gift of realizing that we don’t have to do everything by ourselves, that we are not alone, that we can let go of control and reach out and welcome other people in. Letting go of control can take us to new experience of caring and connection. There is an open door to healing, to having someone to walk beside us and share our pain or to reach out and help us. It introduces us to our own resilience, that in fact we have grown and become stronger because we have let go of control!
I am still learning to be a feather on God’s breath. To let go and let myself, others, and God help me and hold me. To float where and when God’s new life calls me, and only at the speed of whatever time it takes to arrive in places of new life, God’s gift. This feather of mine tries too often to have energy of its own, and I cause it to direct its own path/course of life instead of resting on the loving breath of God and others who love me and letting it all depend on that love and God. To let go and fly on God-spirit is my deepest desire and joy, and my constant prayer.
Malcolm Guite, a poet priest, has written the following poem about Hildegard of Bingen which appears in his book of poetry, The Singing Bowl:
” A feather on the breath of God at play,
You saw the play of God in all creation.
You drew eternal light into each day,
And every living breath was inspiration.
You made a play with every virtue playing,
Made music for each sister-soul to sing,
Listened for what each herb and stone was saying,
And heard the Word of God in everything.
Mother from mother earth and teacher
Your song revealed God’s hidden gift to us;
The verdant fire, his holy harbinger
The greening of glory of the labyrinth.
‘Cherish this earth that keeps us all alive’
Either we hear you, or we don’t survive.”