Sr. Doreen, SSJD
The Anglican Church of Canada Calendar – August Quote, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5)
I am reminded of the story of the proud hare who taunted the humble tortoise, bragging about how much quicker and cleverer he was than the slow tortoise. The show off hare was so sure of himself that he rested along the way, convinced that he would be the winner of the race with the tortoise. The tortoise on the other hand knowing how slow he was, didn’t give up and persevered to the end – he kept trying, even when things seemed hard, when others thought more highly of themselves than they did of him. It was indeed and in fact the tortoise that won the race!
The story could also be written as it is in scripture in Psalm 131 (Message translation) “Lord, I am not proud and haughty. I don’t think myself better than others. I don’t pretend to “know it all.” 2 I am quiet now before the Lord, just as a child who is weaned from the breast. Yes, my begging has been stilled. I too should quietly trust in the Lord—now, and always.”
And then there is the account in Luke 18:10, the biblical text describes two men, a Pharisee and a tax collector, going to the temple to pray. “He (Jesus) also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt This is a key part of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, where Jesus illustrates the importance of the difference between self-righteousness and humility. The Pharisee prayed self-righteously, while the tax collector prayed humbly, seeking mercy. We know which one went away satisfied.
The ‘proud’ being thought of here is often seen as a form of self-reliance and a refusal to acknowledge one’s relationship and need for others and God. ‘Humble’ on the other hand, is a recognition of one’s limitations and a willingness to reach out in openness to opportunities for new life, for relationships with others and with God. Grace is a free gift from God, not something earned through one’s own merit or actions.
It is when we seek recognition to impress, to win favours, to seem better than others as we go through life, that we also find ourselves unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and unhappy. It is when we can accept ourselves, with all our warts and wrinkles, when we can come humbly just as we are, knowing that the unconditional love and acceptance of God is available for our open arms and heart, that we find ourselves going through life with an inner peace and joy that nothing can take it away from us. In a real sense, faith is our admission that we can’t bribe ourselves, others, or God ; that to try to placate, manipulate, or impress in any way is only to experience not being clothed in the graces of new life that might be waiting for us. Instead, relationships faulter and fail, divisions grow, and the longing for unity and oneness fades.
Paul Coutinho in his book “Awaken to the Divine” wrote: “the only graces and gifts we possess are those we have allowed ourselves to receive and share with others.” In my musing on this calendar theme for August, I thought that the gifts we have given away open us to being able to receive even better and deeper gifts or graces in life. Perhaps this is also another way to understand the gifts that pondering this scripture passage holds out for us. It is true that what we hold on to for ourselves is often the recipe for losing what we thought we had.
Going back to the psalm 131 in my pondering I began to think that there is something very tender about this psalm. It is as if I, an ordinary person, am standing awake and aware before God, and that God is there welcoming me. I couldn’t help but think of something written by Rumi “I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.” There is about the calendar quote for this month a truth …the idea that something that benefits all of creation without trying to compete with it, that nourishes everything it passes without focusing on the results. It is indeed when we are our own humble selves, warts and all, honest and open in life that we are also open to grace, open to new life. It is not the external showy self but the inner attitude that gives birth to awareness, to the grace of our relationship with ourselves, with others, and all of creation and God. There in that inner silence, waiting, something is born that remains awake forever. Humble, humus, of the earth, I am who I am, and just as I am I come, oh God, I come.
In Paul Coutinho’s book “Awaken to the Divine” he wrote: “… ‘Take away all my talents (and I was aware that they were many) and give me the one-person who will love me for myself.’ God sent me the only person who will love me for myself: me. Once I began to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate myself with all my many and beautiful God-given gifts, Love found a way to penetrate the depths of my being. This love overflowed into the lives of people without discrimination between friend and foe, good or bad, and without counting the cost or keeping a record. God became more and more the Loving Living Absolute in my life.”
Just as I am … the beloved of the Beloved, grace filled. God didn’t create junk but made me important, precious, beautiful. Such a humble and grateful gift, one that I need to celebrate.
A pondering meditative hymn that still arises often in my own life, and one that I have found myself singing with words of my own, though carrying the same meaning for my soul, I share:
Common Praise #615 Anglican Church of Canada – text written by Charlotte Elliott (1789 – 1871)
Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me,
And that thou biddest me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am – thy love unknown has broken every barrier down –
Now to be thine, yea, thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.