Sr. Doreen, SSJD
“When the dark clouds come … keep going. When the big things feel out of control focus on what you love right under your nose. This storm will pass.” (The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy)
One of the truths that great spiritual writers have offered as wisdom to us is that truth can be found most often in paradoxes and contradictions. To find light you must go through darkness. To seek knowledge, you must admit that you know little. To live you must die to self.
As I pondered Mackesy’s quote and the wisdom understanding of others and of my own experience, each of the paradoxes or contradictions in my own life have offered me an opportunity for fuller growth. I know that as I look back, and also live in the present, I realize just how many opportunities I have wasted by dwelling in the dark clouds and not focusing on what I love that is right under my nose!
Joan Chittister in her book “Between the Dark and the Daylight” writes: “The truth is that we spend our lives in the centrifuge of paradox. What seems certainly true on the one hand seems just as false on the other. Life is made up of incongruities: life ends in death; what brings us joy will surely bring us an equal and equivalent amount of sorrow; perfection is a very imperfect concept; fidelities of every ilk promise support but also often end.”
In the midst of where we live our lives today, with the chaos and crises coming at us from all directions, I am sure that most of us are weary and worn out from all the problems, big and small, and the stress. For most of us there is a longing and a search for that quiet inner life that can calm our confusion, perhaps give us some insights, and provide a firm path ahead.
There are two sayings that many wisdom teachers have spoken that I value and ponder as I muse about the dark clouds, the big stuff, and what I love close at hand. One is there is a God, and we are not it. The other is life is not about us; we are about the project of finding life. When dark clouds come, keep going … we have been there before and know that however bleak the place of darkness was for us, we did not die there. Life begins on the other side of darkness, another life, a new life – it goes on differently, but it goes on. If we have the courage to enter and go through the dark clouds of our present way of relating to God, ourselves, others and everything, we will be open to experiencing the dawn of a new and life-giving relationship with God, ourselves, others, and everything around us. We are to focus on the love right under our nose, there to discover new wisdom, new insights, a new vision of ourselves – stronger, simpler, perhaps surer than ever before.
There are two sayings that many wisdom teachers have spoken that I value and ponder as I muse about the dark clouds, the big stuff, and what I love close at hand. One is there is a God, and we are not it. The other is life is not about us; we are about the project of finding life. When dark clouds come, keep going … we have been there before and know that however bleak the place of darkness was for us, we did not die there. Life begins on the other side of darkness, another life, a new life – it goes on differently, but it goes on. If we have the courage to enter and go through the dark clouds of our present way of relating to God, ourselves, others and everything, we will be open to experiencing the dawn of a new and life-giving relationship with God, ourselves, others, and everything around us. We are to focus on the love right under our nose, there to discover new wisdom, new insights, a new vision of ourselves – stronger, simpler, perhaps surer than ever before.
When we begin to live every moment as fully as we can, all of life becomes a celebration. This grows for me from pondering a similar thought to when dark clouds come: John 12:24 “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, if remains just a single grain, but if it dies it bears much fruit.” We begin to live when we venture into the deeper waters of life, when we go beyond the blessed boundaries of our family, our community, our country, our culture, and our religion. Every boundary that we are open to crossing, every dark cloud that we choose to walk out of, opens us to new horizons. We actually begin to see the love right under our nose! We regain the wonder and the freedom we thought we had lost.
Joyce Rupp writes in her book The Cosmic Dance: “Every day I am offered the tremendous gift of sipping from the mystery of life, tasting the exquisite beauty in what the universe offers me from the vast cup of the cosmos. And in the midst of this beauty, I am also invited to hear the groan of suffering that arises from our bleeding and wounded planet.”
In a very real way this simple and yet profound statement “when dark clouds come … keep going. When the big things feel out of control focus on what you love right under your nose. This storm will pass …” offers within it an ability to transform all that the dark and big things hold into something that we can take hold of that helps us move on in building the kingdom of God. There is within every situation and circumstance something that can be constructive – to our growth, to our relationships, to our world and communal situations. It is what Jesus did in the midst of the dark clouds and big things of the crucifixion – he used the energy of the pain and humiliation to transform the world in love, not by stopping the dark but by changing its meaning – by focusing on what he loved right under his nose, on us and that unconditional and tenacious love for us and for this world.
Yes, may our winter times of darkness – our dark clouds and big things – become fruitful sources of growth, gifts to be given to ourselves and to our confused and wounded world. The dark clouds pass, and the dawn comes. What is it that most helps you get through the challenging and disheartening times? It is a question to ponder.
I would like to end with something Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr wrote in their book ‘The Circle of Life’: something to ponder when dark clouds come: ‘Kinds of Enriching Darkness’
– Nurturing darkness
– Comforting darkness
– Sheltering darkness
– Restful darkness
– Restorative darkness
– Protective darkness
– Supporting darkness
– Love-making darkness
– Tender darkness
– Soft, gentle darkness
– Emancipating darkness
– Transforming darkness