Sister Doreen’s Reflections
“God does not see as humans see, humans see only appearances, but God sees into the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 Inclusive Bible Translation)
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world – your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.” (Message Translation)
“Here is my secret, it’s quite simple: one sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” (The Little Prince – by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
One of the greatest challenges during the time after my open-heart surgery was in discerning what was important to pay attention to while journeying through the wilderness recovery period. I found myself pondering the quotes that are above, both from scripture and from the Little Prince.
One of the things that I pondered during my heart meditations many years ago was the experience of putting on 3-D glasses during an IMAX movie about Beavers. It gave me an experience of what I was looking at very differently! Amazing really! There was a depth or wholeness to what I was seeing, a unique three-dimensional view of reality. I began as I walked my way to recovery to really desire to learn more deeply about the art of deep vision. I really wanted then to have 3D vision and today I still want to have 3D vision! When we pause and work to have a seeing heart, when we follow the call to see with 3D vision, it is the deep vison of the heart that reveals the unique three-dimensionality of people and things against the backdrop of God’s presence. Deep vision helps us see all of life in 3D, and seeing in 3D is so needed by all of us today. There is a holy angularity, thinness, in all creation, and this is always surprising us with new facets of God’s love. When I read what I had written about this 3D vision today, I thought how important, indeed perhaps even more vital, this is in 2024. The seeing heart brings with it the gift of hope.
Today as I ponder what I wrote in those days long ago, I have found the words of Charlie Mackesy in his book ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ to speak to this truth that sometimes the heart sees what eyes cannot see. He wrote: “Isn’t it odd. We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside.” It is our seeing heart that makes everything, everyone, unique and completes our vision! The heart understands emotion and subconscious, unlike eyes which always look for logic, consciousness, and reasons. It is with our seeing heart that we might be able to see the underlying character and the true nature of others or our world around us. Things like friendship, love, affection, care, faithfulness, and truthfulness.
What I wanted more than anything on my journey through the wilderness in those days long ago was to see with that deep vision. As I walked, I thought about myself, of having to look at my real self and acknowledge what I see. This vision can only come with a deep desire for a seeing heart. To be able to acknowledge that I am a unique person, that I am beautiful inside and out, that I am the beloved of the Beloved. In the book ‘The Little Prince’ one of the overall messages that the little Prince teaches is that the responsibility demanded by our relationship with ourselves (self-love) leads to a greater understanding and appreciation of our responsibility to others and to the world in general. As I walked it became an important reminder that love is all around, a reminder to continue working on self-love.
Looking back on my heart meditations I can see just how important it is to maintain a close relationship with God, as well as fostering compassion for others, of following the Christian principle of loving your neighbor as yourself. As I read these words from my heart mediations:
- Prayer is action, active waiting, active watching, active seeing. It is a conscious choice to engage in a relationship. It takes energy and commitment to remain openly waiting and receptive to God
- Prayer involves me in a genuine struggle to surrender my superficial desires to the deeper desires only seen with a seeing heart, those deeper desires God has planted in my soul.
- Prayer is a painful, joyful, freeing discovery.
- I do not always automatically hear the Word of God in life, in nature, in scripture, in each other as life-giving or freeing. I know that to find the priceless pearls of wisdom buried in life takes time, struggle, study and patience, attentive waiting and listening: it takes deep vison – 3D vision.
- Developing a seeing heart – deep vision: 3D vision will be the hard work of retraining my inner self to wait upon God, to wait for what is ordinarily not seen.
- My journey through my own wilderness seeking ever-greater understanding is gong to lead me into entering into the paradoxes of life, into the questions.
- I will need 3D vision.
I wrote the following prayer then:
Faithful Emmanuel, send me forth into your world, knowing that in your Spirit I will never again be alone, nor powerless, nor unaccepted, nor rejected, nor abandoned, nor of no consequence, nor without meaning – for you forever are with me.
Today in 2024 I wrap myself in that same prayer shawl and remember the words of Ronald Rolheiser in his book ‘Holy Longing’: “God’s many-faced faces are now everywhere, in flesh, tempered and turned down so that our human eyes can see God.” The seeing heart, and I give thanks for the gift of hope.
The refrain from Marty Haugan’s song Eye Has Not Seen seems a fitting way to end this reflection:
Eye has not seen,
ear has not heard
what God has ready
for those who love him;
Spirit of love, come,
give us the mind of Jesus,
teach us the wisdom of God.
