Sister Doreen’s Reflections
I began to wonder why I found that so often as we journey through life there were so many occasions when the most frequent response to situations was “I wish” … it began to cause me to ponder with some concern about my own life, and also about life around us. So frequently the words “I wish” reoccur in conversations: “I wish I could be this or like her/him”; “I wish the government would do this”; “I wish my community (family, church) could be more friendly”; “I wish … “
“I wish” in a sense kind of passes the baton in the relay of life to someone else. What about my own responsibility? How do I take my passive wish for things to be different, (in my life, in my community, in the world) and convert that into an “I will” that makes things happen, beginning with me?
I also thought there is also wisdom in “I wish”. Beginning with articulating an “I wish” gives us time to think, to understand the why of things before we consider getting into action ‘what should I do and how should I do it’. For me it has become more and more important to stop and breathe, to take the space and the time to ponder. Jesus’ words to the disciples “come away with me to a quiet spot” highlight a very important ‘spiritual practice gift’. It is that gift of pondering, of mulling over wisdom, of trying to understand people, differences, other perspectives. Come away with me, take time to breathe and ponder is the gift that could turn our “I wish” into an “I will”. It could make our “I will” much more effective than taking a shot in the dark – quickly moving from “I wish” to “I will”, without much time taken to really stop and try to understand the big picture of what it is that is happening to make you wish for something different.
When I was a child, we travelled from Winnipeg or Alberta where we lived on the train to Vancouver to visit family for the summer. We used to love sitting in the end car of the train, the caboose, and the view of seeing things that we had already passed. It gave us such a different outlook. Now when I remember those times, I realise that indeed there is a different perspective. We are seeing only what has already passed by. Sometimes when “I wish” seems to be on the edge of taking over in my life, the one place that calls me to attention and reminds me of an important lesson learned, is looking through the rear-view mirror in the car. Both the view from the caboose of the train and the view in the rear-view mirror are examples of a truth. I thought there’s a reason why the view from these stand points are so small and the view looking forward at what is coming is so big and that reason shouts an important truth: that where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.
We can either wish for change or we can be the change. Wayne Dyer said that “You can change the way you look at things and find that the things you look at change.” A quote that is attributed to Mahatma Gandhi: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Both of these quotes are worth pondering.
It is interesting to note that the one gospel story that all four of the gospels record is the feeding of the 5000. In the story recorded in the gospel according to Mark 6:30-44, please note that it comes just after Jesus saying to the disciples “come off by yourselves and rest awhile”. And instead, when they get to that quiet place to rest, they find people waiting for them, and Jesus having compassion for them all, begins to talk to them. When the disciples felt that this had gone on long enough, the asked Jesus to send people away so they could find something to eat, and Jesus answered: “give them something to eat yourselves”. And they, I am sure in astonishment, answered “Are you serious ….”
When the same story is told in scripture a number of times, it is intended to help us understand that there is a very important message for us to hear, and it is like Jesus saying: “listen to me, do you understand”. It made me think that we are often like those disciples, so quick to see what we can’t do, and so quick to talk about what we don’t have. It is almost an outward sign of living with ‘I wish’ … I think that for me one of the messages that this story gives to me is God encouraging me to get involved, go past I can’t do it, I don’t have the wisdom, energy, desire, and to get involved in what I am sure God sees as the great adventure of helping others, and in doing so surprising things happen.
We seem so often to be put in positions where we feel helpless and inadequate, and yet feel compelled to do something. To walk from the I wish to the I will. It is the little things, the small things that we are able to do that make the big difference in the larger scheme of life. We often forget that it is the small things, the little things of kindness, of compassion, of acceptance, of caring, of gentleness, of love, these and many other acts and gifts that we all have that make a difference and cause surprising things to happen. Moving from I wish to I will … it was Bishop Desmond Tutu who said: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
I will – we can do small miracles knowing in the words of John Bell in Hymn #123 from Sing a New Creation of the Anglican Church of Canada:
Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger, my love is stronger than your fear.
Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger, and I have promised to be always near.
