Sister Doreen’s Reflections
It was my morning coffee Splenda that again sparked my ponderings today with the message ‘the best way to get there is to start’.
It was Walt Disney who said: “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”.
I began to wonder why it was often so hard to get started, especially on something new or some new change, new job, new meeting with issues to decide, or some new idea?
It is one of those situations where a lot of ‘what if’s’ begin to surface. Some of those ‘what if’s’ could be connected with feeling just weary or fatigue at the thought of having to start a new inner journey to get to where we know we would like to be! It is usually surrounded by anxiety: what if I can’t do it, what if I fail, what if it is too hard for me …. The fear of failure when we commit to something can be paralyzing and prevent us from taking action. There is a real struggle with committing because we are not sure what we really want, where it will lead us, or what the best actions are for us to take.
Most of us have a degree of perfectionism in us, we like to get it right, to do the right thing, in the right way – and can spend a lot of time making sure everything is well planned, all the t’s crossed and the I’s dotted! We can spend a lot of time thinking and planning, we can procrastinate, thinking that what we are doing is planning and preparing, when really we are just stalling or afraid to get started. You and I know that ‘for real’ we must let go of the life we have planned so that we can accept the one that is waiting for us! There will be the risk of failure, the certainty of making mistakes, but all the time there will also be the opportunity to gain new knowledge, new experiences, new growth – there will be added more of that cherished lived wisdom, and God smiling, knowing and believing in our great potential.
Thomas Merton is quoted as saying: “We do not want to be beginners [at prayer]. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything but beginners, all our life!”
We know that we can learn new things at any time in our lives if we are willing to be a beginner. I believe that God is holding out a gift to us – that if we actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up for us. Grace upon grace, blessing upon blessing! Scary upon scary! Exciting upon exciting!
It is the first step that needs to be taken, not one more pause looking for inspiration, just that first step believing that we can handle whatever comes. And it is those next steps that follow, with the commitment to be consistant in making those next steps, using the strengths of our own lived wisdom, our own remembrances of past experiences and the wisdom we have gained: it is born of whatever harm, hurt, failure, and fire we have been through – our lived wisdom – that gives us the resilence to reclaim whatever new shape life is inviting us to.
Elvis in his song “Blue Suede Shoes” had a chorus refrain that came to my mind when considering standing there prepared to make that first difficult step: “Well, it’s one for the money, two for the show three to get ready, now go, cat, go!”.
That first step into the unknown, into what is waiting for us, for what we cannot control, is a journey into trust. That first step takes us beyond self-reliance into new depths of faith. That first step crosses over the threshold of fear and into the boundless love and care that God has for us. “You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to God, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust’.” (psalm 9: 1-2) That first step is an opportunity to embrace our own resilience and courage – now go, cat, go!
It is by taking that first step, and by walking: as quoted in one of Richard Rohr’s daily meditations, “By walking into that pain (fear), experiencing it fully, and moving through it, you metabolize it and put an end to it. In the process, you also grow, create more room in your nervous system for flow and coherence, and build your capacity for further growth.” (Resmaa Menakem)
I found something that Joyce Rupp wrote in her book “The Cosmic Dance” to be very helpful when I pondered the best way to get there is to start. She wrote: “Daily I must set out, again and again, to have an open mind and a compassionate heart. Daily I must perk up my external senses and commune with my internal ones, as well. The cosmos holds out her cup of life to me, filled with invisible packets of energy. I need only respond with a desire and an intention to receive. It is then that I enter into the cosmic dance with awareness and gratitude, and hear again the inner voice urging me towards oneness.”
Yes, take that first difficult step, just repeat to yourself: “Well, it’s one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go , cat, go” all the while remembering in the words of John Bell of the Iona Community in the song “Don’t Be Afraid:
”Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger, my love is stronger than your fear.
Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger and I have promised, promised to be always near.”
