Sister Doreen’s Reflections
The July Anglican Church of Canada Calendar scripture reflection.
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.” (Matthew 6:28)
I thought to myself you really could put whatever word you wanted to replace the word ‘clothes’ in this scripture passage, for the real message for me was ‘and why do you worry’?
What is it about the word worry that really is speaking to me? As I thought about the word I began to see that fret, anxiety, distress weighed heavily in this passage. It seemed it was the deeper parts of worry – not the concern, questions, uncertainty. It is giving way to anxiety and unease and allowing my mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles – almost like a dog with a bone, unable to seemingly let go. I am sure that this is what is being referred to in this passage of scripture. It is offering us a gift, a loving hint to stop and take note, that what is worrying me is important and needs to be paid attention to, but at the same time it is not to be let grow out of proportion! I would hazard a guess that we all know these feelings, and we all know how important it is to keep life in balance.
I use the Message translation to throw some additional thoughts for pondering: “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion – do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen colour and design quite like it?”. This conversation with Jesus goes on to point out that “What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God giving. People who don’t know God and the way God works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how God works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. … Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:31-33)
During our night prayers here at the Convent there is a prayer that is sometimes used from the booklet “Night Prayers: an Order of Compline” put out by the Anglican Church of Canada. This prayer has become one that I use once in bed at night, my go-to sleep prayer, and has become an important spiritual practice for me.
“Lord it is night. The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God.
It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done; let it be.
The night is dark. Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives rest in you.
The night is quiet. Let the quietness of your peace enfold us, all dear to us, and all who have no peace.
The night heralds the dawn. Let us look expectantly to a new day, new joys, new possibilities.
In your name we pray. Amen.
The first part of that prayer has become a very important mantra – or whisper in my ear: let it be, it is, in my own mind, a sacrament of letting go. Sometimes we need to be reminded that the lessons we have learned through good and hard times can give us insights to navigate our worries and fears, to help us find answers to hard questions, or to let go of the questions altogether. It is not easy to believe that we can trust ourselves, our wisdom. You and I have a great deal of learned wisdom, garnered from our experiences, as we have navigated the different circumstances of our life journey thus far. We do have a storehouse of riches that we can draw, perhaps these words ‘do not worry’ are the gift that also says to us ‘remember’, trust yourself. Macrina Wiederkehr in her book “The Flowing Grace of Now” writes: “I felt starved for guidance. I wanted someone to appear in my life who was wise and it seemed to me that no such person was in reach. Then suddenly one day while I was praying with the gospel story of Mary and Martha veils fell from my eyes and I realized that I was standing knee-deep in grace. Grace was all around me. Guidance was in my reach. Teachers were plentiful.”
You and I have an inner teacher, we need to take the time to stop and listen, to spend time alone in the quiet of our own heart. We need to mull over the wisdom we have gleaned. Balance is important, it is through solitude and silence as well as through community (our circle of friends, spiritual companions or soul friends, books and scripture) that we can begin to see more clearly. We need to trust in both, we need both.
We live in an age of anxiety, and we are not sure of so many things as the world around us keeps being redefined so often. Most of us want to get rid of anxiety as quickly as we can, and yet most of us know that we need to learn to hold a certain amount of anxiety. If we are not able to hold a certain amount of anxiety, we will not be able to move into anything new, not be able to change and grow. Richard Rohr in one of his daily mediations writes: “That is probably why the Bible says, “Do not be afraid” almost 150 times! If we cannot calmly hold a certain degree of anxiety, we will always look for somewhere to expel it. Expelling what we can’t embrace gives us an identity, but it’s a negative identity. It’s not life energy, it’s death energy. Formulating what we are against gives us a very quick and clear sense of ourselves. Thus, most people fall for it. People more easily define themselves by what they are against, by whom they hate, by who else is wrong, instead of by what they believe in and whom they love. I hope you recognize from this common pattern how different the alternative is. We might catch anew the radical and scary nature of faith, because faith only builds on that totally positive place within, however small. It needs an interior ‘yes’ to begin. God needs just a mustard-seed-sized place that is in love, not fear, that is open to grace, that is thrilled, that has found something wonderful.”
There is in Jesus’ words, “why do you worry”, also a very tender and compassionate tone. It is almost as if Jesus were also saying, “I understand, I have been there before you, trust me that I am with you in It”. When we can let go, our heart and our life is given more room to grow, we see gifts we never noticed, we encounter others different from us in new ways … and if in the midst of our worry we can let go, surrender, there is the gift of a new openness and the possibility of our life being enriched.
I believe that Jesus was encouraging us to, or inviting us to, let go, to yield up our worry and anxiousness and to let things move in our lives. Yes, to be concerned and aware and pondering, but also open to letting them flow into new life. When we have enough grace to let go, trust begins to form in that inner place where lived wisdom dwells. It is a call to trust.
