By Sister Doreen, SSJD
I came across a quote by Carl Rogers, an American Psychologist that was known especially for his person-centered psychotherapy, that made me stop and begin to ponder. The quote was “What is most personal is most universal.”
I came to a stop when pondering this quote as there was a truthful simplicity that the quote revealed: what really is important in life is where the personal becomes universal. I thought how often we talk about having so much more in common than we have differences. At the same time, what is much more highlighted in the news, in our culture, and in our awareness – are all the differences that we have that are creating discord, breakdowns, violence and brokenness.
Henri Nowen in his book, Bread for the Journey, wrote: “Anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.”
Pondering Roger’s and Nowen’s thoughts it seemed to me that the most personal values that are also the most universal are those that bridge the inner life of the individual with the collective needs of people and communities, and of our world: those most personal values like love and compassion, truth and honesty, responsibility and respect. Our deepest desires for belonging, for relationships, for security, stability, and safety, and for a sense of fulfillment and opportunity to learn, grow and achieve in life – these are some of the most intimate personal values that are the most universal, the most wanted, needed, longed for values that are communal.
The concept of UBUNTU that both Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Tutu “I am because we are” expressed and encouraged was a deep truth that they both believed lay at the heart of getting to know and appreciate and accept each other in all our differences. There is real interconnectedness when we recognize that single source at the heart of everything.
This becomes a sacramental paradox of great value for us! What is most private and personal in you is also what is most universal. What is deepest in you is deepest in all people—and in the world itself. The deeper you look into yourself and your deepest desires and longings, the more you find what is most important to everyone. The most private you, “the real you,” isn’t isolated and alone. It’s your secret point of contact with the whole cosmos: it is what makes us ‘one in the spirit’. When you speak, write, think, perceive, and act from your deepest, truest self, you automatically speak to other people’s deepest desires and concerns as well.
How we need to long for this understanding in today’s world, to make this our deepest desire, this knowledge and truth of our oneness. This becomes so apparently when we can live together in the present moment, in the here and now, in the heart and at home with God and each other and the whole created universe. It is not from looking for meaning and life outwardly, from what we see and want but from getting into what is most personal within you and choosing to express this in some truthful way. It is here that people will recognize themselves in what you honestly express from your most private self.
Again, Carl Rogers expressed this in his own way: “What is most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others.” This commitment to understanding and awareness of the self is the greatest help that can be given to people, to all of us, at this time in our world today.
It is this that alters how you see, treat, and relate to everyone, because now you realize that in following your own highest joy, inner peace, and self-realization you are at the same time following everyone else’s good and fulfilment while at the same time following your own. In a very real sense this takes us back to Henri Nouwn’s quote again: “Anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal.” For me this becomes one of those ‘aha’ moments, an epiphany – a sacramental paradox, and a blessing.
This interconnectedness, this At-One-Ness (atonement) with the whole universe – feeling profoundly rooted and connected – all the energy which expresses itself in the cosmos of which we ‘are’ – that ‘I AM’ – this is intimate, and we are intimately bound up with each other and all of creation.
Jesus revealed his mission when he prayed for all of humanity: “The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind – just as you, Father, are in me and I in you. So, they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me. The same glory you gave me, I gave them. So they’ll be as unified and together as we are – I in them and you in me. Then they’ll be mature in this oneness…- John 17:21-22 (Message translation).
This indeed would alter how we see, treat, and relate to everyone and the whole world, the cosmos. How we all, how our world, needs to begin to understand this oneness, this relationship, this ‘all our neighbour’s as a reality – a truth! We each one and all of creation are related and need each other. I share a hymn to close this reflection: Hymn Book ‘Gather’ #835 text by Peter Scholtes:
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord,
we are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord,
and we pray that all unity will one day be restored.And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
and they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
We will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand,
we will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand,
and together we’ll spread the news that God is in our land.And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
and they’ll know we are Christians by our love.We will work with each other, we will work side by side,
we will work with each other, we will work side by side,
and we’ll guard each one’s dignity and save each one’s pride.And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
and they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
All praise to the Father, from whom all things come,
and all praise to Christ Jesus, who is God’s only Son,
and all praise to the Spirit, who makes us one.And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
and they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
Yes! Yes! “Arise shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.” Isaiah 60:1.