The Secret Sits

By Sister Doreen, SSJD

Both quotes made me do some thinking about the paradoxes of life! It seems that we often find ourselves circling around the mysteries and uncertainties of life while at the same time being filled with a curiosity and sense of wonder. Richard Rohr in his book “A Lever and a Place to Stand” expresses a truth that I have found amid the mysteries and uncertainties, the curiosity and the wonder: “Now if you asked me what it is that I know, I would be hard pressed to tell you. All I know is that there is a deep ‘okay-ness’ to life … joy and sadness are able to coexist at the same time within you.” One of the truths that shines for me is that any life without conflicts, a mix of joy and sadness, is by necessity only half a life, that a certain degree of conflict, that mix of joy and sadness is good and necessary, and it is this that shows us that we are inside the wonder, the secret, the mystery of life..

“Mystery is a power that affects us and everything there is, yet we cannot grasp it intellectually. We can however, understand it to the extent to which we interact with it from our heart.” David Steindl-Rast in ‘You Are Here’

Perhaps there is something about the labyrinth that is an outward and visible sign of that inward and spiritual grace, that Secret in the middle, and why I chose that picture for this reflection. I often sit outside the guest house here at the Convent where I can see the labyrinth – and feel that though I am caught in the ebb and flow of  questions and speculations or assumptions, there is that steady rock – that Secret, that Love, at the centre that remains steadfast and knowing at the heart of it all.

It is true that the wonders we look for are inside us, calling us, waiting patiently for us to say yes, to draw closer in intimacy, an intimacy that will change us as we uncover the hidden truths at the centre of who we are. This inner reflection and contemplation grounds us in a wholeness that overcomes the needless divisions in ourselves and in our world. This is something that Robert Frosts “The Secret Sits” is slowly unveiling in my own life. Paradox and contradiction is something that we live with all the time, living with it in curiosity and wonder I can see myself dancing around in a circle trying to suppose while all the while the Secret (Love) sits in the middle and knows. It is true that there is a deep okay-ness to life as I have said before. Looking outside ourselves for solutions and answers always leaves us unfulfilled – it is when we get on our inner search with the Secret, the Love, at the centre that we begin to discover what is missing in our lives, that all we need is within ourselves. This is a lifelong quest, one that slowly unfolds for us over time. Gradually, at the core of our being, we experience a peace that the world cannot give and an inner harmony and delight that no one and nothing can take away from us. ”Whenever we love, we say an unlimited benevolent yes to belonging. Love is the lived yes to mutual belonging.” David Steindl-Rast.

Part of one of T.S. Elliot poems I found spoke to the deep longing in my own heart. It resonated with Robert Frosts poem and Rumi’s quote, and my own experience of dancing around supposing while coming gradually to know that the Rock of my life always remains sure and steadfast and knows, and that I do carry inside myself all the wonders that I am seeking.

Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion

An old Russian Proverb adds its own wisdom to this reflection: “Love is like a ring; a ring has no ending.”

Both of these quotes seem to be saying that there is to life a ‘circle’ – a round plane figure whose boundary consists of points equidistant from a fixed point (the center) – where here and now cease to matter and were there is no ending. It is here in curiosity and wonder that we draw toward the Secret/the Rock of our life (God) that sits at the center – it is staying close, drawing close, that we come to an understanding at a deeper level of the heart, beyond the surface, and can begin to embrace all the revelations that lie at the heart of life – of ourselves and each other and the world and cosmos.

Saying ‘yes’ to that inner journey of meditation and contemplation as we circle  around mysteries and uncertainties with a sense of wonder and curiosity it seemed to me that what life was calling each of us to was to keep on circling, circling, drawing the circle wider and wider around the Secret that sits at the centre – that unchanging core of Love that always and forever reaches out to us to gift us new life and new understanding. It helped me take this reflection into a direction that can only be summed up in a hymn written by Bishop Gordon Light called “Draw the Circle Wide.”

Draw the circle wide. Draw is wider still.
Let this be our song, no one stands alone,
standing side by side, draw the circle wide.
God the still point of the circle, ‘round whom all creation turns; nothing lost,
but held forever, in God’s gracious arms.

Draw the circle wide. Draw is wider still.
Let this be our song, no one stands alone,
standing side by side, draw the circle wide.
Let our hearts touch far horizons, so encompass great and small;
Let our loving know no borders, faithful to God’s call.

Draw the circle wide. Draw is wider still.
Let this be our song, no one stands alone,
standing side by side, draw the circle wide.
Let the dreams we dream be larger, than we’ve ever dreamed before;
Let the dream of Christ be in us, open every door.

Draw the circle wide. Draw is wider still.
Let this be our song, no one stands alone,
standing side by side, draw the circle wide.

Yes! Yes! “Arise shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.” Isaiah 60:1.